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Gettin' Older

by Emily Taylor Kelso

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1.
Not Today 03:40
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Ain’t got much left but I’m alright I know the hurt will pass me by They say when it rains it pours So I’ll close the windows & lock the doors By now, I’m an expert in survival So I know after the storm comes the revival I’ve been to hell and back, I’ve seen it all Show me a roadblock, I’ll just climb the wall There ain’t much you could throw my way To bring me down, no not now, not today I’m well acquainted with rock bottom But good vibes, yeah I’ve still got ‘em Ain’t nothin’ in life for free I work hard to feel this happy By now, I’m an expert in survival So I know after the storm comes the revival I’ve been to hell and back, I’ve seen it all Show me a roadblock, I’ll just climb the wall There ain’t much you could throw my way To bring me down, no not now, not today All my scars made me wiser Ain’t a redhead, but like Reba, I’m a survivor And even on the messiest of days I’ll brush off the dirt and find my way I’ve been to hell and back, I’ve seen it all Show me a roadblock, I’ll just climb the wall There ain’t much you could throw my way To bring me down, no not now, not today
2.
All Outta Trucks 02:18
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The right thing to do would be to walk up to you and ask if you need some help You’ve been roaming around, walking up and down these aisles talking to yourself I know what you’re here for and it ain’t a used Ford They say the customer’s always right, but that ain’t the case tonight I don’t have what you’re looking for, my heart ain’t in stock no more Since you broke it down There’s no lift kits or bench seats, this showroom is empty Don’t bother looking around If you’re searchin’ for a second-hand second chance, baby tough luck I’m all outta trucks You can four-wheel-drive that sorry butt right out of my life You blew your shotgun seat with me, now I only wanna see your taillights I don’t have what you’re looking for, my heart ain’t in stock no more Since you broke it down There’s no lift kits or bench seats, this showroom is empty Don’t bother looking around If you’re searchin’ for a second-hand second chance, baby tough luck I’m all outta trucks
3.
Run Away 03:40
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I don’t know what I want anymore And I used to be so sure That when I grew up I would make a change Pick one road, stay in my lane I thought I would stop self-destructing by now Heal my heart and settle down I thought that my age would bring wisdom but I Can’t slow the rollin’ stone in my mind Oh I still wanna run away sometimes I got no reason to seek greener grass I know I’m lucky to have what I have But tryin’ to silence the voice in my head’s Like tryin’ to bring Hank Williams back from the dead I thought I would stop self-destructing by now Heal my heart and settle down I thought that my age would bring wisdom but I Can’t slow the rollin’ stone in my mind Oh I still wanna run away sometimes Why would I wanna run away from the whole life I’ve made? I don’t know what else is out there but make no mistake If I stay, I’ll always wonder what would happen if I strayed And if I stray, I’ll always wonder what would happen if I stayed I thought I would stop self-destructing by now Heal my heart and settle down I thought that my age would bring wisdom but I Can’t slow the rollin’ stone in my mind Oh I still wanna run away I still wanna run away I just wanna run away sometimes
4.
Getting Better 02:39
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All the songs I wrote in my youth Every one of them ended up about you But when time healed the wound I didn’t know what to do ‘Cause who am I without the pain you caused me? When that was all I ever I knew I don’t know how to be whole when I was broken for so long How can getting better feel so wrong? Used to pray for the day it would end And I could find my old self again But I was unprepared For how I’d feel when I got there ‘Cause who am I without the pain you caused me? When that was all I ever I knew I don’t know how to be whole when I was broken for so long How can getting better feel so wrong? You could call it masochistic tendencies Never feel more alive than when I can’t breathe Maybe you damaged me permanently Now I’m only happy in misery ‘Cause who am I without the pain you caused me? When that was all I ever I knew I don’t know how to be whole when I was broken for so long How can getting better feel so wrong?
5.
Madness 02:45
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Would you like me better if I was damaged too? Would it make you feel a little less insane? Does it make you feel weak to love someone stronger than you? Is that why you keep trying to cause me pain? Well honey one of us has to look out for both of us ‘Cause one of us keeps steerin’ towards the cliff A weaker soul might leave you on your own But I’m not letting you and me go down like this You can’t self-destruct on my watch I won’t let the madness win I fought it once or twice for myself And for you I’ll do it all again I can always see just when it’s taking over I can always tell when you start to lose yourself There’s nothing that side of you could say to push me away Me and my tough love, we’re only here to help You can’t self-destruct on my watch I won’t let the madness win I fought it once or twice for myself And for you I’ll do it all again You’re facing bigger demons than I ever did But that don’t mean you’re not gonna get through it You’re facing bigger demons than I ever did But baby I’m right here to love you through it You can’t self-destruct on my watch I won’t let the madness win I fought it once or twice for myself And for you I’ll do it all You can’t self-destruct on my watch I won’t let the madness win I fought it once or twice for myself And for you I’ll do it all again
6.
More to This Town 02:51
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After all these years, I’m back in town And I heard from a friend or two that you’re still hangin’ ‘round Tellin’ everyone you know that I’m still hung up As if lovin’ you the first time wasn’t bad enough I hate to break it to you babe But I ain’t here to see your face There’s more to this town than drivin’ too fast Kickin’ up dust and tippin’ one back More than back roads, more than church pews There’s sure as hell more to this town than you There was a time, a long time ago I thought that you’d never be someone I used to know But that life you want, it ain’t the one for me Holdin’ on to glory days and 2013 I hate to break it to you babe But I ain’t here to see your face There’s more to this town than drivin’ too fast Kickin’ up dust and tippin’ one back More than back roads, more than church pews There’s sure as hell more to this town than you No I didn’t hop a flight cross the country just to find out how you’ve been I knew you in high school and not much has changed since then There’s more to this town than drivin’ too fast Kickin’ up dust and tippin’ one back More than back roads, more than church pews There’s sure as hell more to this town There’s more to this town than you and me There’s 18 years of memories My family, my friends, my heart, my roots There’s sure as hell more to this town than you
7.
Gettin' Older 03:12
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They only like me when I play the oldies Or when I’m on stage singin’ right to their faces They don’t care ‘bout me when I’m online Tryin’ to make a livin’ writin’ my own rhymes If I lose the fire inside me, will you like me better? If I’m just like you, put my dreams into the shredder Ain’t that just what gettin’ older is all about? Gotta dim my light to make you feel a little better ‘bout yours goin’ out They stop carin’ when you’re in your twenties And you’ve graduated and you should have a 9 to 5 That’s when you should get your head outta the clouds They’re all waitin’ on you to come crashin’ down If I lose the fire inside me, will you like me better? If I’m just like you, put my dreams into the shredder Ain’t that just what gettin’ older is all about? Gotta dim my light to make you feel a little better ‘bout yours goin’ out Silly girl, dreams are for kids Quit chasin’ down a life you’ll never live I lost my spark, my soul went dark and soon yours will too If it didn’t happen for me, it won’t happen for you If I lose the fire inside me, will you like me better? If I’m just like you, put my dreams into the shredder Ain’t that just what gettin’ older is all about? Gotta dim my light to make you feel a little better ‘bout yours goin’ out
8.
21 Again 02:54
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They told me that I’d miss it someday down the line Told me to appreciate all my precious time When I said I couldn’t wait for it to end They said “you’ll wish that you could be 21 again” It was the summer I made every choice I know I shouldn’t have An August full of nights I wish I could take back And yeah it took a little more to get a hangover back then But I’d never want to be 21 again They told me everything would be all downhill from here Told me to enjoy my golden years But lookin’ back on it, I can’t pretend You just couldn’t pay me to be 21 again It was the summer I made every choice I know I shouldn’t have An August full of nights I wish I could take back And yeah it took a little more to get a hangover back then But I’d never want to be 21 again Everything was going right in my life on the surface And everything was going wrong right at the same time I don’t know if I sabotaged myself on purpose All I know is I spent that whole year out of my mind It was the summer I made every choice I know I shouldn’t have An August full of nights I wish I could take back And yeah it took a little more to get a hangover back then But I’d never want to be 21 No, I’d never wanna be, oh I’d never wanna be 21 again
9.
Just Fine (Darling) 03:40
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Oh darling, life can get you down sometimes It’ll break your heart and make you cry But I promise you the storm will pass you by Oh darling, there will be brighter days I know you will find a way To come out stronger on the other side I’ve been where you are; babe, I’ve still got the scars Trust me when I give you this advice The hurt and the pain, no they never stay Everything gets better with time And you’re gonna be just fine Oh darling, watch it gettin’ better now I told you it would turn around And you’d find something to smile about Oh darling, hold on to the way you feel The sky will clear, the wounds will heal After the rain stops falling down I’ve been where you are; babe, I’ve still got the scars Trust me when I give you this advice The hurt and the pain, no they never stay Everything gets better with time And you’re gonna be just fine I’ve always believed in finding something beautiful Even in the ugliest of times It ain’t always easy, but it’s pretty wonderful When you finally make it out alive I’ve been where you are; babe, I’ve still got the scars Trust me when I give you this advice The hurt and the pain, no they never stay Everything gets better with time And you’re gonna be just fine Oh darling, you’re gonna be just fine
10.
New Old Me 02:47
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I was at rock bottom when I met you Couldn’t recognize myself Had a lot of shit to get through ‘Fore I could love someone else It took a few years and a couple million tears But I’m proud to say she’s here You found me at an all-time low On the brink of my revival Now the bruised and broken girl you know She’s earning back her smile I put in the work to patch up the hurt, and finally set my heart free Now let me introduce you to the new old me I’m sorry for all the hurt and all the waitin’ While I was findin’ her again I know it felt like I was changin’ But this was always who I am It took a few years and a couple million tears But I’m proud to say she’s here You found me at an all-time low On the brink of my revival Now the bruised and broken girl you know She’s earning back her smile I put in the work to patch up the hurt, and finally set my heart free Now let me introduce you to the new old me I lost myself before I met ya so you never had the pleasure Of seeing me before the world knocked me down I know I’m like a different person now that I’m free of hurt and I hope who you are can learn to love who I am now You found me at an all-time low On the brink of my revival Now the bruised and broken girl you know She’s earning back her smile I put in the work to patch up the hurt, and finally set my heart free Now let me introduce you to the new old me

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released May 26, 2023

All songs written and recorded by Emily Taylor Kelso

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Emily Taylor Kelso Halifax, Nova Scotia

As a kid, I was that girl who wrote songs about anything and everything. As an adult, I'm still that same girl. All I've added is a little twang.

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