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Beginnings: 2010​-​2011

by Emily Taylor Kelso

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1.
Been Here All Along 03:12
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How’d I never notice your blue eyes? How’d I never see your smile? That’s like not noticing the sky; all this time, have I been living in denial? ‘Cause the way you’re looking at me’s giving me a hummingbird heartbeat Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s me, maybe we’re too far apart to see Maybe it’s right, maybe it’s wrong, maybe, baby, you’ve been here all along Been best friends since I can remember, but maybe that’s about to change Here under the stars in September; tell me, do you feel it too? Oh, it’s so strange ‘Cause the way you’re looking at me’s giving me a hummingbird heartbeat Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s me, maybe we’re too far apart to see Maybe it’s right, maybe it’s wrong, maybe, baby, you’ve been here all along It’s like I’m seeing you for the first time, baby Oh and nothing’s ever felt so right I see it in your eyes, you feel the same, baby Oh, so shut up and kiss me tonight Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s me, maybe we’re too far apart to see Maybe it’s right, maybe it’s wrong, maybe, baby, you’ve been here all along Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s me, maybe we’re too far apart to see Maybe it’s right, maybe it’s wrong, maybe, baby, you’ve been here all along ‘Cause the way you’re looking at me’s giving me a hummingbird heartbeat
2.
Back to Me 04:33
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They say good things always come to an end Maybe today’s the end for us I wish I could, I wish I could change it and start all over But I can’t, so maybe it’s best to just get this over with Maybe we can make it alone; we’ll never know until we try And I wish it didn’t have to end, but since it did I want you to know, I’ll never let you go And I wish you all the best, and I hope you find happiness But if life don’t take you to where you wanna be, Come on back to me Just know, I wish it could’ve worked out Maybe we’ll get another chance when we sort this out But for now, but for now, we’ve gotta take this how it is No matter what, I’ll always love you, just know this Maybe I can make it alone; I’ll never know until I try And I wish it didn’t have to end, but since it did I want you to know, I’ll never let you go And I wish you all the best, and I hope you find happiness But if life don’t take you to where you wanna be, Come on back to me I want you to make me a promise If you ever move on, please don’t tell me It’d break my heart in two because I will always love you And I wish it didn’t have to end, but since it did I want you to know, I’ll never let you go And I wish you all the best, and I hope you find happiness But if life don’t take you to where you wanna be, Come on back to me Come on back to me
3.
I Try 03:05
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I hope everything’s good where you are; me, I’m okay, at least for today It’s been too many years since I felt whole, but hey, what do I know? I’m still just a kid, at least that’s what they say; but I know how I feel I know that when I lost you, the pain, it was real No matter what I do, I can’t get you out of my head No matter what I do, I can’t say these words I never said But if I could, I’d say goodbye, and if you could, you’d see me fly And it haunts me every day that I can’t see your face And maybe you’re the reason why I try, I try I know if you could be here today and see how I’ve changed You’d be so proud of me, you’d be so proud of me, if you could only see No matter what I do, I can’t get you out of my head No matter what I do, I can’t say these words I never said But if I could, I’d say goodbye, and if you could, you’d see me fly And it haunts me every day that I can’t see your face And maybe you’re the reason why I try I try to be strong, I try to move on, I try to do my best so I can carry on I try to live it right, I try to see the light, I try for you No matter what I do, I can’t get you out of my head No matter what I do, I can’t say these words I never said But if I could, I’d say goodbye, and if you could, you’d see me fly And it haunts me every day that I can’t see your face And maybe you’re the reason why I try, I try
4.
I Fell Anyway 03:55
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I knew it wouldn’t work, but I fell anyway And you were such a jerk, but I fell anyway I said so all along; I wanted you to prove me wrong But you proved me right; it’s time to say goodnight And if you really loved me, if you really cared Then I wouldn’t be crying, and you would be there I should’ve called it like I saw it; shouldn’t have believed that you could change I knew from the start that we’d see this day, but I fell anyway I wanted to believe, so I fell anyway Forever, you and me; so I fell anyway I knew the truth all along; I wanted you to prove me wrong But you proved me right, and this thing ends tonight And if you really loved me, if you really cared Then I wouldn’t be crying, and you would be there I should’ve called it like I saw it; shouldn’t have believed that you could change I knew from the start that we’d see this day, but I fell anyway Go run, run away to all your stupid friends They’ll cheer you up and I’ll go get revenge My heart’s breaking, but you’ll never see me aching And you’ll miss me; how you’ll never get to kiss me again I deserve better than this, here’s your goodbye kiss off And if you really loved me, if you really cared Then I wouldn’t be crying, and you would be there I should’ve called it like I saw it; shouldn’t have believed that you could change I knew from the start that we’d see this day, but I fell anyway I fell anyway
5.
When the Sun Goes Down 04:22
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I can force a smile, I can tell a lie, say I don’t miss you, I don’t cry I can see you every day and pretend that I’m okay I can be strong until the daylight’s gone Alone at night, without the will to fight I break down, I fall apart inside remembering the day we died I need to let go, move on, and I can until the day’s gone When the sun goes down, I lose my composure, I wish you were closer It’s all I can do to keep from falling apart Trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart I can pretend I’m fine for any length of time But I lose it all, in my tears I drown When the sun goes down Can’t get through a night without a tear, without worries, without the fear That I may never get over you; I don’t know what I’m supposed to do I need to let go, move on, and I can until the day’s gone When the sun goes down, I lose my composure, I wish you were closer It’s all I can do to keep from falling apart Trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart I can pretend I’m fine for any length of time But I lose it all, in my tears I drown When the sun goes down You let me love you, then you tore me apart You said you loved me, but you don’t have a heart And when you come crawling back like you do Even if I want to, I’ll never come back, never come back to you When the sun goes down, I lose my composure, I wish you were closer It’s all I can do to keep from falling apart Trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart I can pretend I’m fine for any length of time But I lose it all, in my tears I drown When the sun goes down When the sun goes down

about

I didn’t always call myself a “songwriter,” but I always wrote songs.

When I was a kid, I’d write songs around one word or phrase that would pop into my head.

When I was a pre-teen, I’d write songs about real life friendships and bullies but try to disguise them as love songs because I thought that was more relatable.

I used to feel like my songs would never be “good” because I’d never been in love or had a real relationship. But somehow I ended up capturing exactly how I felt in that transitional phase of my life, between a child and a teen, between junior high and high school, between naive and a little wiser.

Are the songs I wrote between 13 and 15 fantastic, Grammy-worthy songs? Probably not. But they’re my babies, and I have a sentimental attachment to them. So I re-recorded some of them in 2022 to give them the life and perspective they couldn’t have back then.

2010-2011 produced only 5 songs I felt like sharing (again… if you were here in 2010-2012, you might have heard the OG recordings).

Been Here All Along was inspired by my first crush and the fantasy I created in my head of how it would feel to date him.

Back to Me is about leaving junior high and being separated from the little class of 12 (sometimes 13) kids I grew up with when we moved to a bigger school the next fall. Knowing not all of those kids are still with us today made this one extra emotional.

I Try was inspired by my grandfather, whom I lost when I was 6 years old. Turns out the first death you have to deal with takes quite a while to really process.

I Fell Anyway came from my first attempt at a “relationship” when I got to high school and how it felt when it started falling apart.

When the Sun Goes Down came from the same situation, but I feel like it nails how I continue to grieve all my relationships.

credits

released November 15, 2022

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Emily Taylor Kelso Halifax, Nova Scotia

As a kid, I was that girl who wrote songs about anything and everything. As an adult, I'm still that same girl. All I've added is a little twang.

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